Recently the American people were treated to a moment of sweet absurdity on the floor of the United States Senate.\u00a0 You know what I\u2019m talking about.\u00a0 It was that historic moment at 8:06 pm on September 24, 2013, that will live forever in our collective imagination. It was a moment that will prompt Americans in years to come to ask one another, \u201cWhere were you when . . .?\u201d<\/p>\n

It was a time when Americans across the continent rushed to pick up their remotes to change the channel, asking themselves, \u201c Is this C-SPAN or Comedy Central?\u201d<\/p>\n

How can any of us ever forget those precious, never-to-be-forgotten moments when Senator Ted Cruz went all squishy as he interrupted his non-filibuster filibuster of the healthcare law to read a bedtime story to his daughters? (Will any parent who witnessed Cruz\u2019s stunt ever be able to read \u201cGreen Eggs and Ham\u201d with a straight face again?)<\/p>\n

In the interest of extending such delicious farce a little longer, here is a list of children\u2019s books that might interest other politicians who might wake up one morning, look in the bathroom mirror, and think to themselves, \u201cGee, maybe it\u2019s my turn to debase the serious work of the government.\u00a0 Why should Teddy be allowed to play all by himself?\u201d So, here are suggestions for some of our favorite and not-so-favorite politicians because, who knows, Teddy might have started a trend.<\/p>\n

Mitch McConnell. \u00a0Start rehearsing \u201cYurtle the Turtle.\u201d<\/p>\n

Rand Paul. \u201cChicken Little\u201d clucking \u201cthe sky is falling\u201d will supply you with a new delusion after you\u2019ve run out of your own.<\/p>\n

John Boehner. Sorry, just take a glance in the mirror and then pick up \u201cColor Me Orange.\u201d<\/p>\n

Paul Ryan. If being the empty vessel of the 2012 election wasn\u2019t enough for you,\u00a0 why not just remind us again and read \u201cThe Emperor\u2019s New Clothes\u201d?<\/p>\n

Michele Bachmann. Just give it your best witch impression and lash into \u201cHansel and Gretel.\u201d<\/p>\n

Sarah Palin. \u00a0Please, spare us our national embarrassment. Stay home. Stand in front of your full-length mirror, gaze adoringly at yourself, and read \u201cGertrude McFuzz\u201d to the image in the glass.<\/p>\n

Elizabeth Warren. Let those financial bigwigs know that you\u2019ll never give up just like the brave and plucky character in \u201cBrave Irene.\u201d<\/p>\n

Bernie Sanders. How about castigating those who play the discrimination game and insist they sit through \u201cThe Sneetches\u201d from first page to last?<\/p>\n

Nancy Pelosi. Blast those Republicans out of the chamber with \u201cHorton Hatches the Egg.\u201d \u00a0They\u2019ll know what you\u2019re talking about when you get to the part where Horton declares, “I meant what I said and I said what I meant, And an elephant’s (editor\u2019s note: donkey\u2019s) faithful, one hundred percent!”<\/p>\n

Barack Obama. Why should Congress have all the fun? Leave the teleprompter in the White House. Then pick up a copy of the story of the wily and intelligent dentist of \u201cDoctor De Soto\u201d and his nemesis, the hungry fox. (No secret code here. We all know which party wants to swallow you whole!)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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