The NFL\u2019s Washington, DC. team has announced that it is officially changing its name to something more politically correct and less racially insensitive. Native American groups have long advocated for a change to bring the team\u2019s image in line with modern sensibilities. While the new name does not address many fans\u2019 desire for the team to become more like others named after ferocious, untamed,\u00a0predatory animals, the new moniker presents a wealth of new marketing opportunities, says highly unpopular team owner Dan Snyder.<\/p>\n

\u201cThe new name is a happy hybrid, allowing us to retain\u00a0our team’s\u00a0longstanding, beloved [by me]\u00a0racially inappropriate identity, while offering a sponsorship-friendly\u00a0tie-in, and also saving me a\u00a0wagon-load of\u00a0wampum in lawyers’ fees,\u201d said Snyder.<\/p>\n

As of April 1, 2014, the team will be called the \u201cWashington Redskin Potatoes.\u201d Its mascot will be a character beloved by generations of children\u2014Mr. Potato Head, who will roll around on the field and pierce himself with a fork during Half (Baked) Time. Other changes at the stadium will complement the team\u2019s new identity as well: Before each home game, the stadium will be preheated to 350 degrees. Potatoes au gratin will be served gratis, the official team dance will be the Monster Mash, and the team\u2019s new\u00a0victory chant\u00a0will be, \u201cPass the butter.”<\/p>\n

Reportedly, former U.S. Vice President Dan Quayle initially received a large consulting fee to advise the team on the proper spelling of the new name. His fee was later revoked when the 8-year-old son of the team\u2019s equipment manager informed\u00a0a stunned\u00a0board of directors that potato does not end in \u201ce,\u201d thus necessitating the reprinting of 5,000 bushels of fan t-shirts emblazoned with \u201cProud to be a\u00a0Potatoe.\u201d<\/p>\n

The rebranded team\u2019s first pre-season game will be against Cleveland. Already demonstrating their identification with the team\u2019s new name, Washington fans have begun creating banners with the rallying cry, \u201cHash the Browns.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

The NFL\u2019s Washington, DC. team has announced that it is officially changing its name to something more politically correct and less racially insensitive. Native<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":28159,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[476],"tags":[2121,813],"yoast_head":"\n