<\/a>Dear White liberals: I\u2019ve heard that this 2016 election really hit you hard. That it was a \u201cwake-up call.\u201d You\u2019ve told me \u201cI never knew there was so much racism in this country.\u201d or \u201cI didn\u2019t realize that so many Americans were so prejudiced.\u201d or \u201cBefore this election, I just\u2014- I just didn\u2019t know.\u201d<\/p>\n

White liberals in particular are suddenly being forced to engage with the racist underbelly of the U.S. and realize that it\u2019s not nearly as remote or difficult to find as we wanted to delude ourselves. We just didn\u2019t want to peel back the flimsy translucent layer that was hiding it and check. But it\u2019s always been there, poised to oppress and destroy.<\/p>\n

White liberals who consider themselves to be entirely non-racist now have to suffer through stunted conversations over the turkey at Thanksgiving and sit rigidly straight-backed on the edge of their chairs during the awkward lulls of silence over Christmas dinner. My racist uncle voted for Trump? <\/em>My uncle? Oh. Well. Um. What do we even talk about now? I have Black\/Brown friends! How can I engage with a Trump supporter? Do I educate him? Do I try to explain privilege and oppression to him? But it\u2019s just so darn exhausting <\/u>to beat yourself against a brick wall of bigotry! I\u2019m just so tired of trying to point out racism to racists, y\u2019know? They don\u2019t get it, and all it does is make me sad and frustrated. Y\u2019know what, no, I can\u2019t keep doing this to myself; we\u2019re just going to ban politics talk. We\u2019re just not going to talk about Trump.<\/em><\/p>\n

It sounds terrible, but when I hear scores <\/em>of people tell me that story, I just can\u2019t help but laugh. Welcome to my life. To me, that story sounds like it is a tiny soundbite from the life of a person of color (PoC), but still very clearly retold by a White person. Let me explain.<\/p>\n

After Trump\u2019s election, White liberal teachers are being forced to teach their racist students, and stomach listening to that virulence in the face of their beliefs because \u201cFirst Amendment rights!\u201d White liberal neighbors are reconsidering the idle chitchat they make with the parents down the street who carpool to take their kids to school because \u201cbut they have a Trump sign in their lawn.\u201d White liberals whose coworkers have \u201cAll Lives Matter\u201d on their Facebook wall now have to look across the row of cubicles and wonder if their coworker is a rabid Trump-level racist or just a diet racist (and \u201cwhat are the conversations in the break room going to sound like now?\u201d).<\/p>\n

White liberals are being forced to engage in political conversations that aren\u2019t just contentious, but that actively doubt the intellect and humanity of the participants. And even more painfully, White liberals have to make the decision between whether they are going to call out their family\/friends\/neighbors\/coworkers on their bigotry and potentially burn that bridge through an arduous and mentally\/emotionally demanding dialogue, or if they have to value that relationship \u201cin spite of\u201d the racism and xenophobia and just overlook it.<\/p>\n

What I need you to know, my White liberal friends, is that the struggle you\u2019re experiencing right now? That struggle to confront bigotry amongst your friends and coworkers? That indecision between educating them and just saving your own piece of mind? That regret at unearthing the fact that your longtime friend is actually a Trump supporter even though you would have been much happier not knowing? That<\/em>, my friends? That is just a tiny bit of the internal monologue that flows through the mind of a PoC on a daily basis.<\/p>\n

From the time we get up in the morning to the moment we fall asleep, we struggle with the weight of the knowledge that there are racists in the world who don\u2019t believe in our complete humanity, and we can\u2019t cut ourselves off from those people. They will always be part of our life. PoC every single day from birth on have been living that struggle. And now you get to live a tiny bit of it.<\/p>\n

Except you <\/em>can disengage. That\u2019s privilege. When it\u2019s too much for you to handle\u2014 and we all get to that point when we just need to take care of ourselves first and foremost (and that\u2019s 100% valid and absolutely crucial)\u2014 you have the ability to decide you don\u2019t want to have these conversations anymore. You can decide this isn\u2019t the time, and stop.<\/p>\n

But I can\u2019t abandon my skin. I can\u2019t just leave it at home today. Short of isolating myself in my room and cutting myself off from the entire world, I can\u2019t turn that part of my life off when I want to.<\/p>\n

I will always, without reprieve, be forced to wonder if that off-color remark was racist or just a poorly thought out joke that wasn\u2019t ill-intentioned. And then I will always have to wonder how poorly thought out a joke has to be to qualify as needing to be confronted. I will always, when faced with the umpteenth stupid remark of the day, have to decide if I can really mentally and physically afford to confront it\u2014 if I have the emotional energy in me to paste on a happy face over my furious indignation and educate someone who appears to have little to no desire to be educated\u2014 or if I\u2019m just too exhausted to do it today again<\/em>. I will always have to reconsider if it is safe for me to speak and share my opinions in a space, not because it might lose me Facebook friends, but because literal harm might come of it.<\/p>\n

And it never ends. Ever.<\/p>\n

So this struggle you\u2019re facing is difficult, I know, but it\u2019s only a small portion\u2014 a heavily diluted portion\u2014 of what PoC experience daily. And you can suspend it at any point in time.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s difficult\u2014 no, it\u2019s absolutely do-I-have-to-get-out-of-bed-today crippling sometimes\u2014 to confront bigotry like that on a daily basis. And many White liberals don\u2019t exactly have a lot of experience with that so, I understand, it\u2019s even more mind-bendingly difficult. I understand. And I am not in any way discounting the level of pain that sort of uphill battle causes.<\/p>\n

But what I need you <\/em>to understand is that if the 2016 presidential election has complicated your life, it has made the life of many PoC treacherous. This is not a time we can indulge in fragility. If you\u2019re feeling inconvenienced by the results of the election, I\u2019m sorry, but get over it.<\/p>\n

Now, more than ever, PoC need you to stand up for what you believe in, even when it\u2019s difficult. Especially when it\u2019s difficult. Because a conversation that is difficult for you to have may be dangerous for your Black\/Brown friend to have. Hate crimes are up, terrifyingly so<\/a>, and that means situations that are uncomfortable for White liberals are potentially threatening <\/em>for PoC.<\/p>\n

And I also need you to understand that we can\u2019t afford to just cut Trump supporters out of our lives, anyway. They are still a massive chunk of American society. Ignoring and silencing them is what got us to this position to begin with. Clearly, it\u2019s not working<\/em>. These are conversations we have <\/em>to be having. If we aren\u2019t engaging with White working class America and the message they\u2019re getting from the news media and politics is that their problems aren\u2019t being addressed because of Black and Brown Americans, then we haven\u2019t solved a single problem. Not a single one. Actually, we\u2019ve made it worse. We\u2019ve handed Trump and his cronies that base of supporters on a silver platter. If you\u2019re really worried about your Black\/Brown friends, this is how you do it. Engage.<\/p>\n

For you this was a wake-up call that the U.S. is still seethingly and unapologetically racist, but PoC never managed to forget.<\/p>\n

If you consider yourself a non-racist, this is the time to show it. This is the time to live it.<\/p>\n

P.S. If you want to hear this sort of message a little more comedically, enjoy this video from Late Night with Seth Myers:<\/p>\n