Let’s play “Political gifts I wish I could give this Christmas.” I have compiled a list of things that would give me a measure of satisfaction to present to some of this year’s political headline-makers. Donald Trump has a head start on me, though: He has already delivered–in the form of many of his cabinet nominations–a very traditional Christmas gift: fruitcakes.
Here’s my list, in no particular order:
To Kellyanne Conway: Truth serum
To Hillary Clinton: A do-over
To Paul Ryan: A spine transplant
To Nancy Pelosi: A Democratic majority
To Rachel Maddow: Smug remover
To Barack Obama: 4 more years
To Ben Carson: A padded cell
To Bernie Sanders: California
To Elizabeth Warren: The 2020 Presidential nomination
To Sean Hannity/Joe Scarborough/Bill O’Reilly: A permanent mute button
To Trump’s adult children: An ethics gene
To Rick Perry: Oops, I forgot what I wanted to give him
To CNN: A kick in the ass
To FBI Director James Comey: Oh, gee, I have some stuff I’ve been digging up for him, but I’m not sure about the appropriate timing. Oh, wait, I know–I’ll give it to him at time when it will do maximum damage to his reputation.
To Vladimir Putin: A coup d’etat
To the citizens of Syria: Anyone but Assad
To Donald Trump: A come-uppance [hopefully accompanied by a good-riddance]