Barack Obama was clearly one of the most cerebral and well-spoken presidents that the United States has ever had. But as odd as it may seem, two slips of his tongue may have led to the rise of the two worst dictators so far in the 21^st Century.

In 2011, Obama spoke at the White House Correspondents Dinner. One of the guests was Donald Trump. Obama showed little mercy when while looking at Trump, he said, “No one is happier, no one is prouder to put this birth certificate matter to rest than the Donald. And that’s because he can finally get back to focusing on the issues that matter, like: Did we fake the moon landing? What really happened in Roswell? And where are Biggie and Tupac?” Obama also included a fake video of his birth and an artist’s rendition of what the White House would look like if Trump was president, further embarrassing Trump.

You can see the five-minute video here:

As you might expect, Trump was not pleased by being the butt of the jokes. Former New Jersey Governor Chris Christie said Trump was “pissed off like I’d never seen him before.”

Trump had played around with the idea of running fore president before the 2011 Correspondents Dinner. But the events that evening truly crystallized his hate towards Obama as well as any Democrat who held him in low regard. In June of 2015, Trump announced that he was running for president in 2016. He decimated the rest of the Republican field of candidates and then lost to Hillary Clinton by nearly three million popular votes, but won the outdated and undemocratic Electoral College.

The second faux pas by Obama came in 2014. In March of that year, shortly after Vladimir Putin and Russia had invaded Crimea and parts of eastern Ukraine, Obama called Russia a “regional power.” Specifically, he said, “Russia is a regional power that is threatening some of its immediate neighbors, not out of strength but out of weakness.” Obama describes in in more detail in the following 50-second video:

Knowing what we know now about Putin, it is no surprise that he would be humiliated and outraged at the thought of Russia being called a regional power. After all, his dream as president of Russia was to re-establish the old Soviet Union, with all seventeen republics. He felt that Russia and the Soviet Union had a long and proud history of being a global power and he want to reassert what had been lost at the end of the twentieth century when Mikhail Gorbachev orchestrated to collapse of the Soviet Union in order to give more autonomy to each of the republics.

We cannot say that Obama’s demeaning remarks about Russia caused Putin to bully and ultimately further invade Ukraine in 2022, but it certainly did not help. Putin was also irritated by former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton who repeatedly criticized Putin and Russia for the lack of fair and democratic elections.

Generally, Barack Obama measures his words as well as anyone. You can see it, particularly in his press conferences, when he often pauses between phrases to make sure that the next thing that he says is precisely what he is thinking and not something that he will later regret.

Life is full of ironies, and the fact that Barack Obama may well have significantly contributed to the rise of dictators Donald Trump and Vladimir Putin can be considered unexpected and certainly unfortunate. It is further evidence that we all make mistakes, even when we try our best to avoid them.

The post How Loose Lips from Obama Hurt America and the World appeared first on Occasional Planet.

Trump’s former consigliere, Michael Cohen, is reported to be writing a tell-all book. Whether he’ll be writing in in a jail cell or at home is still not clear, as his pandemic-related release from prison was suddenly, unceremoniously, and suspiciously rescinded just days after it was announced in late April 2020.  One thing is certain, though: He’s got the goods on Trump and his circle.

This article first appeared on this site in 2018, just after to the FBI raided Trump fixer Michael Cohen’s office, home and hotel room,  where they found and seized a cache of old cell phones—sixteen cell phones, to be precise.  The parody song at the end of this post could be the theme song for his new book.

You have to wonder why Cohen held onto all of the phones. It is possible, after all, to transfer one’s contacts to a new phone. It’s possible, too, to destroy a phone and its memory, if it contains things you don’t want discovered. One could speculate that he kept them for sentimental reasons, or because he thought that someday a Blackberry would be a valuable collectors’ item. Not likely, though. A more plausible explanation would be that Cohen hung onto his old phones because they house, in their micro-memories, some important things that didn’t transfer over to the next generation of mobile phone. And what might those things be? Could they be saved voice mails and “taped” conversations with people Michael Cohen worked with? Cohen is known to record conversations—perhaps to retain them to play back in the future as embarrassing evidence or leverage, perhaps to use them as gossip fodder, or perhaps to play them for the merriment of his friends.

Whatever his reasons, the seized cell phones are now in the hands of the special master appointed to evaluate the attorney-client privilege-ness of what they and other documents contain. Are they the 21^st century equivalent of the incriminating Nixon tapes? We may never know. Suffice it to say, though, that Cohen is probably sweating—as are all the people he may have talked to over 16-phones-worth of conversations.

So, in honor of the 16-phone seizure, I’ve composed a parody of Tennesse Ernie Ford’s, “16 Tons.

Here is the original 1955 hit. My lyrics follow:

Okay, now you’ve got the melody. Here goes

“16 Phones: A Michael Cohen sing-along”

Some people say my ethics are stuck in the mud,

 I never had to worry: I had Trump as my bud.

I said I’d take the bullet if it came down to just us,

But I’m getting run over by Donald Trump’s bus.

You load 16 phones, and what do you get?

A lot of old recordings and a lot of new sweat.

Mr. Mueller don’t ya call me, and don’t harass,

I’m holed up at home tryin’ to save my own ass.

I was born a fixer, and I’m good at the game.

Bully and Sleazeball are my middle names.

The Boss trusted me with the nastiest jobs,

And I’m consigliere to the Trump family mob.

You load 16 phones, and what do you get?

A lot of old recordings and a lot of new sweat.

Mr. Mueller don’t ya call me, and don’t ask for more:

I’ve sold my soul to the Trump-any store.

I was born on Long Island, just a privileged kid,

I’m working for Trump now, and you know what I did.

I paid off some women and threatened the rest,

And now I’ve been raided, and I’m facing arrest.

You save 16 phones, and what do you get?

A lot of old recordings and a lot of new sweat.

Mr. Mueller don’t ya call me, and don’t harass:

I’m holed up at home tryin’ to save my own ass.

Some people say I’ll flip and just tell it all,

Listen, you assholes, I’m not takin’ the fall.

Shut up for a change, and try to be wise,

‘Cuz I’ve got the goods on all of you guys.

You save 16 phones, and what do you get?

A ton of old recordings and a lot of new sweat.

Mr. Mueller don’t ya call me, and don’t harass:

I’m holed up at home, tryin’ to save my own ass.

Parody lyrics, Copyright 2018, Gloria Shur Bilchik

The post 16 phones: Theme song for Michael Cohen’s tell-all book on Trump and Company appeared first on Occasional Planet.

If you’re a woman and if your head is spinning following passage of the draconian abortion law in Alabama, rest assured that the dizzy disorientation you’re feeling is shared by women across the country. If you’re like me, you might find yourself waking up in a cold sweat in the middle of the night with the terrifying sense that your worst nightmare has just crossed the threshold from dream to reality. If you’re like me, you might find that words fail to describe your sense of anger and despair.

Welcome, ladies, to the new reality of the all-out, unashamed assault on our bodies and our lives. This is the battle we hoped we’d never have to face. This is the battle that we should have known was baked into the Supreme Court’s decision in Roe v. Wade. This is the battle that we and our daughters will have to fight because every obstacle that every woman ever has overcome and every opportunity seized were born out of our ability to make our own choices about our reproductive lives. Make no mistake about this: Every aspect of women’s lives is now under threat.

And where, exactly, do our fellow citizens stand on women’s right to decide how, when, and with whom we choose to bear our children? According to the Pew Research Center, 58% of Americans say abortion should be legal in all or most cases, while 37% think abortion should be illegal in all or most cases.

When you break down those numbers into attitudes among Republicans and Democrats, the deep divide over abortion becomes even more stark. Here’s what the pollsters at Pew found:

“By a wide margin (59% to 36%), Republicans say abortion should be illegal in all or most cases. In 1995, Republicans were evenly divided (49% legal vs. 48% illegal).

Views among Democrats have shifted in the other direction over the past two decades. Today, 76% of Democrats say abortion should be legal in at least most cases. In 1995, 64% favored legal abortion in all or most cases.”

Should we, as pro-choice women, take any solace at all from the fact that our views are shared by a majority of Americans? Sadly, the answer is no. We’re living through a time in which nothing in our civic and political life can be taken for granted. If nothing else, Donald Trump and his Republican enablers have demonstrated to us in no uncertain terms that majority opinion does not necessarily prevail. In fact, with every news cycle we are bombarded with the upside-down reality that the beliefs and opinions of the majority can easily be overwhelmed and squashed by the cunning, the dishonesty, and the manipulation of the minority.

Words may have failed me upon hearing the disturbing news out of Alabama. But words haven’t failed three clever comedy writers, Amber Ruffin, Jenny Hagel, and Ally Hord. They’ve found just the right words. Listen, laugh, and cry. And then shake off the nightmare and get ready to fight.

The post Alabama’s anti-abortion abomination appeared first on Occasional Planet.

What do Jesus, Walt Disney, and Anne Frank have in common?  Perhaps this seems like a question that reeks of such absurdity that it’s hardly worth expending even a single gray cell to try to answer it. Believe it or not, this was the unexpected question I was forced to ponder when my spouse and I stopped into a Whole Foods market in Albany, New York, to purchase a few loaves of bread.

I never could have predicted the cognitive challenge that awaited me that day at the most unlikely of places—the checkout counter.

For the average shopper like myself—standing in line to pay for bread or for perfect, unblemished fruits, or perhaps to slap down the big bucks for containers of over-priced ready-mades—the last thing one might have expected to find were the faces of Jesus, Walt, and Anne on the covers of three glossy periodicals in a food store. But there they were, lined up as if they were your run-of-the-mill trio of celebrities sharing a moment of camaraderie. Why those three? Here was an unexpected mystery waiting to be solved.

The question of the meaning behind why such odd bedfellows were placed in juxtaposition has bothered me since that day. Jesus, Walt Disney, and Anne Frank. Just saying their names together inspires a fog of confusion and discomfort.  Had the publishers or distributors of these glossies sat around a polished conference table one afternoon sipping lattes, while hatching a conspiracy to intentionally disrupt the relaxing experience of a few minutes of guilt-free food voyeurism?  Did they hope to disorient, confuse, and challenge shoppers so thoroughly that they would return to the food palace sooner than expected to try to puzzle out the mystery? Instead of encouraging last-minute impulse buying, had they plotted to encourage an existential crisis?

And why would the marketers bother with disruption when their job was to encourage one final impulse buy at the checkout counter at the end of a shopping experience defined by an endless stream of impulse buys?

I had so many questions and so few answers.

I wondered: Were we now supposed to understand Jesus, Walt, and Anne as celebrity influencers, like the Kardashians?  Without being disrespectful, one certainly could make the case for Jesus and Walt Disney. After all, the number of Jesus’s followers grew exponentially as the centuries wore on. By the middle of the twentieth century, there were more than two billion Christians worldwide. That’s a heck of a lot of influence. If you wanted to give an award to one of the greatest influencers of all time, you’d have no choice but to hand the golden chalice to Jesus. Jesus, after all, far outstrips in numbers of followers the most followed Twitter accounts of the number one, two, and three champion influencers today: Katy Perry (106.94 million), Justin Bieber (105.04 million), and Barack Obama (104.36 million).

And what about Walt? Disney arguably was one of the most successful influencers of the modern era. Just consider that Walt, the company he founded, and his heirs have constructed numerous pleasure playgrounds across the globe, and that every year more than 40 million visitors worldwide flock to the sugar-coated fantasy that is the Disney experience.

But then there was Anne. Anne Frank as influencer? I just couldn’t see it.

Next, I wondered whether the life spans of these three icons could have explained their odd cohabitation on the magazine rack. Unfortunately, the mystery wouldn’t be solved with such a simple explanation: Anne lived until the age of 15. Walt lived to the age of 65, and Jesus lived, according to the calculations of Christian scholars, to about the age of 33.

Could the message be that Whole Foods sought a visual signal to crow about their diversity creds? If that were the case, then Anne and Jesus’s Semitic features cohabiting with Walt and Mickey filled in the diversity requirement in a decidedly weird and ironic way. That seemed to be an interesting line of thought, but, unfortunately, one that didn’t seem to adequately solve the mystery.

Descending farther into the black hole of Jesus, Walt, and Anne, I allowed myself to consider whether there might be a hint in all of this about personal tragedy and the cruelty of destiny. Was suffering the thread that united these three? No need to recount the unimaginable cruelties visited on Jesus and Anne, but Walt? Where did Walt fit in?

Confronting this philosophical impasse in such an unlikely place like Whole Foods was leading me to a dark place—as one conundrum piled on top of another conundrum. I had to ask myself: Was this the positive consumer experience Whole Foods was after? The mystery deepened. Why would the expert marketers and purveyors of the pleasures of the palate encourage thoughts about tragedy and destiny?

Finally, in a state of self-imposed obsession, I considered whether this weird juxtaposition might signal something about the trio’s visionary intelligence and rebelliousness. Perhaps these characteristics were those that would solve what seemed to be the unsolvable. As I ticked off what I thought I knew about the lives of the three icons, I began to suspect that I’d finally hit on the key that would unlock the mystery. All three had proved themselves to be out-of-the-box thinkers. Jesus and Walt certainly were visionaries, and Anne, in the words she left us in her diary, proved to be one as well. Each, in their own way, was a true rebel.

A few days ago, my spouse and I returned to Whole Foods to purchase a few more loaves of bread. I walked over to the checkout counter to see if Jesus, Walt, and Anne were still there. They were. But this time they and I seemed more comfortable with their presence together in that unlikely place. The mystery, perhaps, was solved.

The post Walt, Anne and Jesus: Mystery on the Magazine Rack appeared first on Occasional Planet.

The post Shocked, shocked to hear that Trump is unfit appeared first on Occasional Planet.

In his first month in office, he insulted with a Tweet:
A US Attorney named Preet.

In his second month in office, he insulted with a Tweet:
Two federal judges, and a US Attorney named Preet.

In his third month in office, he insulted with a Tweet:
Three top reporters, two federal judges and a US Attorney named Preet.

In his fourth month in office, he insulted with a Tweet:
Four progressive Congressmen, three top reporters, two federal judges, and a US Attorney named Preet.

In his fifth month in office, he insulted with a Tweet:
Five Gold Star families,
Four progressive Congressmen, three top reporters, two federal judges, and a US Attorney named Preet.

In his sixth month in office, he insulted with a Tweet:
Six Muslim countries,
Five Gold Star families,
Four progressive Congressmen, three top reporters, two federal judges,  and a US Attorney named Preet.

In his seventh month in office he insulted with a Tweet:
Seven sexually harassed women, six Muslim countries
Five Gold Star families,
Four progressive Congressmen, three top reporters, two federal judges,
And a US Attorney named Preet.

In his eighth month in office he insulted with a Tweet:
Eight foreign leaders, seven sexually harassed women, six Muslim countries,
Five Gold Star families,
Four progressive Congressmen, three top reporters, two federal judges,
And a US Attorney named Preet.

In his ninth month in office, he insulted with a Tweet:
Nine EPA scientists, eight foreign leaders, seven sexually harassed women, six Muslim countries,
Five Gold Star families,
Four progressive Congressmen, three top reporters, two federal judges,
And a US Attorney named Preet.

In his tenth month in office, he insulted with a Tweet:
Ten athletes kneeling, nine EPA scientists, eight foreign leaders, seven sexually harassed women, six Muslim countries,
Five Gold Star families,
Four progressive Congressmen, three top reporters, two federal judges,
And a US Attorney named Preet.

In  his eleventh month in office he insulted with a Tweet:
Eleven close advisors, ten athletes kneeling, nine EPA scientists, eight foreign leaders, seven sexually harassed women, six Muslim countries,
Five Gold Star families,
Four progressive Congressmen, three top reporters, two federal judges,
And a US Attorney named Preet.

In his twelfth month in office he insulted with a Tweet:
Twelve protesters marching, eleven close advisors, ten athletes kneeling, nine EPA scientists, eight foreign leaders, seven sexually harassed women, six Muslim countries,
Five Gold Star families,
Four progressive Congressmen, three top reporters, two federal judges,
And a US Attorney named Preet.

The post The twelve months of Trump [A Christmas sing-along] appeared first on Occasional Planet.

Missouri Governor Eric Greitens loves to show off his Navy-Seal skills for maximum political effect. You may recall that he blasted off his campaign for governor in a TV ad that featured him spouting campaign promises while posing with and then firing off an assault weapon. A second campaign ad didn’t even pretend to be about issues: He simply, gleefully, strafed a set of targets with an even bigger, military-issue machine gun.

Now, he’s done it again. On September 9, 2017, he hitched himself up in the upper reaches of JQH Stadium in Springfield, Mo., and rappelled down to the arena floor. It was a showy kickoff to—of all things—a professional bull-riding competition. He made his dramatic entrance in front of an audience of thousands, as an announcer touted Greitens’ military commendations, and as four Army National Guardsmen floated down carrying the American flag. Watch:

What an entrance into JQH, Governor @EricGreitens! Looking forward to another great night of @PBR PFI Western Invitational! pic.twitter.com/nl2Uggr4kp

— JQH Arena (@JQHArena) September 10, 2017

Need I point out the humorous possibilities, puns and ironic political commentary that this silly display inspires? He did, after all, jump into a bull-riding event. The bullshit joke opportunities are endless. [I’ll leave the actual punch-line writing to Steven Colbert, Trevor Noah and John Oliver.] I’d call it  a “rappellant” display of self-aggrandizement and military worship. And one also might see his descent as a metaphor for what is happening to the state of the State of Missouri’s well-being under his stingy, conservative-Republican regime.

Donald Trump is probably drooling with envy at the imagination and showmanship Greitens has displayed. A St. Louis Post-Dispatch article notes that, “Greitens frequently posts videos showing himself in physically challenging situations, such as working out with first responders, riding in high speed maneuvers with the State Highway Patrol, and sparring in a boxing ring with troubled youth.”

All Trump could muster, after all, was a [can I call it “pedestrian?”] Trump Tower down-escalator ride to announce his candidacy for president.

You have to wonder what’s next. Parachuting? A Houdini-like escape from a water tank? More likely, a political disappearing act, in which Greitens vanishes from Missouri when he runs for president in 2020.

The post MO Governor Greitens’ latest stunt is “Rappellant” appeared first on Occasional Planet.

There is so much to unlike about the current President of the United States. I’ve been compiling a list of “un” words that describe him and his actions: Unprecedented, undisciplined, uninterested, uneducated, unmindful, unimpressive, un-presidential, unstable, uncontrolled, unconstitutional, unimpressive, untruthful, and many more. But none of those fit into the rhyme scheme of the little ditty I’m offering underneath these paragraphs.

If you’re like me, you’re supremely uncomfortable with the man in the White House, but feel un-empowered to do anything about it, given the Republicans’ unchecked control of all three branches of government. One thing I’m not is undecided: He’s the worst president America could possibly have elected. Go ahead, Trumpsters: Call me unpatriotic. I am unashamed of my opinion, and I will unabashedly, unstintingly, unrelentingly, unremittingly continue to criticize him until America undoes this unmitigated disaster.

Here’s my ditty: Unedited and somewhat un-rhythmic.

Our un-President

His tweets are unwise, his ideas unknown.

Our uncaring president’s not fully grown.

Unimpaired and unchecked, his rage unimpeded,

His mistakes, unacknowledged, remain un-conceded.

Uncaring, unhinged and completely unread,

His thoughts are as messy as my unmade bed.

Unblocked, unimpeded and so unrestrained,

He tweets from a mind that is empty, untrained.

Unqualified? Need I unpack this for you?

It’s so unbelievable, and it isn’t untrue.

He’s untrustworthy, and he’s untruthful to boot.

He’s loutish and boorish and also uncouth.

His unthinking actions and unseemly whining

Are alarming our friends: It is so undermining.

Underwhelming, undisciplined, and wholly unfit,

Our un-President’s  turning the US to shit.

The post The un-President appeared first on Occasional Planet.

Newly appointed Secretary of the Interior Ryan Zinke made a grand entrance on his first day on the job: He rode several blocks through Washington DC, to his new office, on a horse.  [Not making this up. Check the link.] Accompanying him were mounted U.S. Park Police, a group of chanting Native Americans, a small crowd of onlookers and hundreds of Interior Department staff waiting for him.

It was an over-the-top production number strangely befitting a department head appointed by Reality-TV-Star-in-Chief Donald Trump. Clearly, dignity and humility are out; showmanship is what counts.

It makes me think that other Trump-appointed department heads might benefit [in the eyes of the boss] from a similarly showy first-day entrance—or any day thereafter when theater would be better than actually doing one’s job or facing hard — or basic — policy questions. Using Zinke as a role model, here’s what we might see:

Ben Carson, Trump’s [bizarre] appointee to helm the Department of Housing and Urban Development, coming to work in a mobile home.

Or, Steven Mnuchin, Trump’s billionaire banker Secretary of the Treasury, could arrive in a Brink’s armored car, as fellow billionaire Wilbur Ross—Secretary of Commerce – delivers himself at the wheel of a semi-tractor-trailer truck overflowing with cash.

How about Betsy DeVos, Trump’s no-nothing Secretary of Education, showing up in the [private], luxuriously appointed school bus of her choice?

Isn’t it obvious to Trump’s crack media team that Secretary of Defense James Mattis should forego the limo and go to work in a tank? And visualize John Kelly, Director of Homeland Security, being dropped off at the office by a surveillance drone.

Picture this, too: Rick Perry once famously called for the total destruction of the Department of Energy, but couldn’t remember its name. Now, he’s in charge of it. How perfect would it be for him to arrive at the office, wearing his see-I’m-a-smart-guy glasses, and fall through the door after slipping on a banana peel. Oops.

For Tom Price, who Trump appointed to gut Medicare, Medicaid and Social Security as head of Health and Human Services, the proper, media-savvy form of transportation would be an ambulance, sirens screaming and lights flashing.

Sonny Perdue, former Governor of Georgia, has been picked [pun intended] to head the Department of Agriculture. As Governor, he drew headlines for PAHWAL [piloting a helicopter without a license] and for praying for rain on the steps of the state capital.  Unfortunately, he’s not related to the poultry-magnate Perdues, because a chicken-suit arrival would have been fittingly comic. But he did grow up on a hog farm, so a first-day ride-along on a manure truck might be a good fit.

Personally, I would have preferred that Trump’s Attorney General, the corrupt and totally weaselly Jeff Sessions, had never had a first day in office. I don’t know what vehicle he arrived in on his first day, but I’m hoping that he leaves in a paddy wagon.

As for Rex Tillerson, the new Secretary of State whom Trump is completely ignoring, he has already arrived at the office: The problem is that Trump bought him a Harry-Potter-esque Cape of Invisibility to wear for his first day.

I can’t decide if Ryan Zinke’s first-day stunt reminded me more of a well-known Vladimir Putin image [Zinke kept his shirt on], or of the sheriff-arrival scene of Mel Brooks’ Blazing Saddles. Either way, Zinke’s grand entrance makes me ask myself, once again—as I have been since Donald Trump took office and began appointing the least qualified, most self-promoting, most corrupt people he could find to run the government—who are these people, anyway?

But I must admit that Zinke’s choice of vehicles on which to arrive at work is very fitting—he was, after all, appointed to office by a horse’s ass.

The post New Secy. of Interior rides into office, literally—on a horse appeared first on Occasional Planet.

Is Trump unique? No. He’s just the latest in a long line of demagogues and false populists who use deceit and “alternative facts” to confuse the public and to lead nations into ruinous behaviors. This quote, from an 18th Century French author, proves the point.

It’s the latest in our long-running series of quotes that remind us, over and over, that everything ends up being political, whether we like it or not–and that “the more things change, the more they stay the same.” [Hey, that’s another old quote, from 1849, by another French writer, Jean-Baptiste Alphonse Karr.]

We’re always on the lookout for quotes–contemporary and historical–that are pertinent to the current political environment. Check out our page full of our previously published illustrated quotes here.

Our illustrator is Christopher Burke, whose unique, quirky cartoons add a touch of whimsy–which we really, really need as we embark on a new, frightening era in American democracy.

The author of this still-timely quote is Voltaire, [1694-1778], a French Enlightenment writer, historian, and philosopher famous for his wit, his attacks on the established Catholic Church, and his advocacy of freedom of religion, freedom of speech, and separation of church and state.

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